Girl on Fire
by emptysummer
Summary: She burns. It wasn't supposed to be like this. Twenty-six moments of Gale and Katniss. AU oneshot. For my sister who rabidly ships Gale/Katniss.


**Girl on fire**

She burns. It wasn't supposed to be like this. Twenty-six moments of Gale and Katniss. AU oneshot. Wishlist 2011. For my sister who rabidly ships Gale/Katniss.

Warnings: Blood and death and children who never were.

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><p>1.<p>

The first time he sees her it's at the presentation of medals for the families of the dead, The children are standing in a line and she's wearing red, her little sister clinging to her side. He's angry oh so angry because brass cannot feed his family. He notices her because she looks how he feels and he approves. When the mayor hands her the medal her hands close around it so tight he can see her knuckles turn white. It's a star and on the edge of her palm he can see a red mark from the pressure. She looks (_tiredangrythin_) small and he wishes (_stupidly_) that she'd be ok.

2.

He forgets about her (_the glimpse of dark hair and high cheekbones and angry eyes_) caught up in his family's needs. There are five of them and little Posey is barely three months. He can't do anything legal but his father taught him traps and hunting even if he's not very good (his bow is crap and he has no idea how to get a better one). She's crouched over on of his traps and she's scrawny much too thin and he aches because he can clearly see the individual vertebrae on the back of her neck. He almost offers her the rabbit but bite his tongue. His bow shoots left and he hasn't figured out how to compensate for it on a still target let alone one as small and fast as a rabbit. It will be the first bit of meat his family has had in a week. So he accuses her of poaching instead and the anger in her eyes relieves him because she's not dead yet. She answers his accusations with a snort and an indication of her bag of kills already bigger then his own. She doesn't need his family's food. He names the emotion sitting heavy in his stomach (_admirationrespectlove_) relief and asks her name.

3.

The next time they meet she almost kills him. They worked a deal knowledge for a good bow and set up a meeting place because there's no way she's letting him anywhere near one of her father's stashes. Not yet. She's absorbed in skinning a rabbit facing away from him and he's working on being silent in the woods (_wants to scare her, wants to see something other then_ _anger in her eyes_). A branch snaps underfoot and she spins arrow knocked and loosed in a single instinctual movement. He dives out of the way so it only grazes his arm. If he hadn't moved it would have been a gut wound, ugly things. She apologizes profusely and bandages his arm with some rags. He teaches her a simple snare and she hands over a bow far superior to what he's been using, offering so tips of shooting. When the light starts to fade she offer him the rabbit. He declines. When it ends up on his table anyway he says nothing because the children of the Seam understand debt.

4.

He calls her Catnip for the first three months of their partnership because he believes it's her name. He is fourteen and she is twelve and he's helping her drag home her tesserae (_because her mother disappeared into her own head and she is far too old for twelve_), a school friend calls out to her and she waves and keeps walking. He glances sideways, arrested by the lines of her face. "Katniss huh?" and she laughs and it's like () joy. It's the first time he has heard her laugh.

5.

That winter is miserable. Early, cold and three feet of snow on the ground by mid-December. They hunt when they can but he gives up far more easily then her because his family has his mother's money to fall back on. She has no support. The laundry business does particularly well that winter because no one wants to be soaked. He smells like wood smoke and lye constantly but he is always well fed. Katniss on the other hand has lost the little fat she gained in the summer making her look scrawny instead of sleek. He doesn't offer her any food because she would never forgive him but Prim usually gets sent to the Hawthornes at dinnertime with some small supplement to the meal in hand. When Posey gets sick he mentions it to her offhand and she finds the herbs necessary to bring down a fever and presents them to him on a cold day after dark. She hovers in the doorway like she can't afford to sit down and he knows she's been giving her food to Prim and her mother and he wants to shake her for being a fool. Instead he invites her in to eat and she hesitates but for once she lets someone else take care of her. He is not her mother and he will never abandon her. It isn't enough.

6.

When spring comes and the snow melts (_everybody lived_) she pulls a handful of katniss out the pond when they go fishing and teaches him to recognize it. She tells him that it would sustain him. Somehow he is not surprised.

7.

On the first warm day of spring they bring down a deer. Their first. They drag it through town and it's a spectacle the people hacking off chunks as they go. They don't get the best price for it but it's still more money then either of them has seen in their lives. They buy what they need and wander the extra money in hand. He buys her a pair of bright red ribbons for her birthday.

8.

A moment. May eighth. They sit on the stoop of his house cleaning their kills. She is thirteen today and four times more likely to be reaped. She's threaded the ribbons into her braid and they shine in the sun. Prim and Rory and Vick are playing in the street and baby Posey is crawling then walking back and forth between the two groups. His mother is going out basket of clean clothes on her hip (_worncallousedstrong_) fingers wrapped around the handles. She surveys them and smiles.

9.

"She's a keeper." Hazelle Hawthorne says to him wearily later after Katniss has left twisting her wedding ring. "She's a keeper." She repeats and Gale agrees.

10.

Two merchant kids are going to die but he's not and neither is Katniss. It's a good day in the Seam. They celebrate as they are required to do and Prim is begging Katniss to sing. Those who remember her father take and the cry and around them people chant (sing! Sing! SING!). She's blushing bright red and it matches the ribbons (his ribbons) that she has wound through her hair when she caves. They cheer, flutes and drums are produced and Katniss _sings_. She's up on the stage and he's right behind her at his accustomed place. The stars are out and her voice never falters. Couples dance and laugh. None of their children will be dying in the weeks to come. He hates them for their relief and hates himself as a hypocrite because as long as Katniss is ok the world can burn for all he cares. He gets her to dance with him and they sway. Tomorrow she'll be hoarse and he'll make her tea to soothe her throat. It's isn't enough.

11.

She is fifteen today. Sometimes he wonders if he was the first to notice her. It doesn't really matter except he watches the men of the seam, the boys watch her and wishes for something more. She's laughing just a bit and Aidan Cavanaugh has utterly casually wrapped one arm around her waist and lifted her on to the booth he's set up. They are close enough to kiss and he notices the baker's boy staring at her longingly. He studies the boy and their eyes meet for an instant. The emotion reflected in them is too similar to his own, but Katniss calls out to him and he joins her. The way Aidan's face shutters tells him enough. Across the square the baker's boy all but snarls because that is difference he has Katniss in a way none of them can ever claim. She all but falls into his arms from the booth counter and he laughs himself this time.

12.

The first girl he kissed was Joy Alder. Funny really. He always thought it would be Katniss.

13.

She looks angry. She always does the day after the Reaping. "Run away with me?" It's enough. She almost laughs and it's not bitter. People think that they are going to get married, after her last reaping. He wonders what she would say if she knew.

14.

They will get married after her last reaping. They'll feed their siblings and when Posey is old enough they'll run. They'll disappear into the woods and their children will be free of the Capital. This is how it's supposed to be.

15.

The odds are not in his favor. (_He lives in the Seam and the odds are not in his favor._) But they should have favored Prim. Her name is called and he knows (_knowsknows_) what it going to happen next. He's already moving to scoop up Prim as Katniss calls "I volunteer". The silence as Effie Trinket calls for applause is absolute. They do not condone. They cannot condone because Katniss is well loved in the Seam. The merchants know her by name and she has put more meat on all their tables then anyone else. She is the girl with a sweet voice, and skill with the bow. They cannot agree so they stand silent and the Peacekeepers shift uneasily. He can't pinpoint where the motion starts but the crowd lifts their hands to their lips, respect for the dead (_but she's not dead yet. He saw the anger in her eyes and she's not dead yet)_. Behind Katniss, Haymitch Abernathy reads the crowd and ruins his dignity for peace. She composes herself and Effie is reaching for the other name. He lives in the Seam and the odds are not in his favor. It isn't enough.

16.

In the red velvet room of the mayor's mansion he tells his family to do what they can. Rory can hunt and with Prim they can sell the cheese from Lady. Don't take out tesserae, watch out for the Everdeens especially Prim, survive, he says, because one of us is coming home and when we do they'll live up in the victors house. His tongue almost slips on the we, nearly forms she does instead of we do. His mother looks at him with pity in her eyes but says nothing as they escort his family out. He has no intention of coming home. The youngest baker's boy is his next visitor and they stand, awkward. He says take care of her and they both flinch just slightly.

17.

On the platform after his names echoes in angry silence they had woven their fingers together in plain view of the cameras. Defiance. They do the same in the chariot burning brightly. She's the Girl on Fire after that and they forget that he burned too. It doesn't bother him.

18.

Caesar Flickerman calls him Gorgeous Gale and asks him if he's got a girl back home. His hesitation is palpable and Caesar presses. He doesn't look at her (_on fire, and more artificially beautiful then he's ever seen her)_ as he says, "There was a girl back home. Everybody thought we get married after her last reaping. She… she's my best friend. I don't think she thinks of me like that." Caesar says, "If you win" and Gale cuts him off. "I'm not going to win. She is. It's enough." The room goes into chaos and he finally finds the courage to looks at her. She smiles ever so slightly and he thinks he sees a glimmer at the corner of her eyes. It's enough. He's trying to convince himself. It's enough

19.

The elevator ride back is dead silent. Her hand is in his their fingers interwoven. On the roof she studies the skyline. Her eyes are bleak. They say nothing but she leans against him and he feels real for the first time since his name echoed on cobblestones and clouds.

20.

In the arena they're opposite each other standing on metal plates already too hot in the bright sun. He's got her back and the cannon sounds and she sprints away from the cornucopia. He has the harder job.

21.

He slices the girl from 8, knife bisecting her face and realizes Katniss was right. It isn't like hunting. He's got a silver bow that he thinks might have been designed specially for her, a couple of knives and a backpack full of supplies. He's running. Into the woods and it's not like home but it's close. They hook up somewhere three miles off the field and he hands her the bow. They spilt the food, resources, he keeps the knives and she gets the goggles they find at the bottom of the back. Then they move into the woods on hunters' silent tread. They pretend that it's just hunting.

22.

The girl looks like Prim. Katniss sings for her, a lullaby.

23.

a.

On the tenth day he takes a knife in his shoulder from the girl from 5. Katniss puts an arrow through her throat and the wet gurgle is the last sound he hears before he passes out. She drags him into a cave she found and sits up all night with his head in her lap. When he wakes he thinks she died that night. (_All the emotion has bled away in the night._) She is not angry anymore.

b.

She monologues that night he finds out later. Spoke the night away. Made her peace. She apologizes to him and Prim. Thanks the boy with the bread for saving her. Forgives her mother. Speaks rebellion, (_cost, the price of revolution. Live, she says, for me. Don't ever become them. Do not forget seventeen hundred and twenty-six dead, the golden mockingjay glinting from her breast._) Bleeds out her hate, her anger. Around three in the morning she begins singing. She sings in the dawn four hours of continuous singing (_her fathers songs_). They catch all of this on tape.

24.

They go hunting. It's him and her and Cato in the shadow of the cornucopia. He and Cato go hand to hand until Katniss can get a clear shot. Then the mutts with Rue's eyes and Foxface's sleek cruelty, Cato and him on golden metal and Katniss up a tree. The arrow strikes Cato in the eye (_like the squirrels she used to hunt in the woods back home_). One of them is going home all they have to do is kill. He tells her he loves and she kisses him. Says, "I know." It's enough. They sit by the lake feet trailing in the water. And she smiles, sad and slow and sweet and he loves her more for it. He wakes in the chopper they used to ferry the contestants to the Arena screaming. They sedate him as a camera catches every nuance of his reaction.

25.

Seventeen hundred and twenty-six dead and she is only the latest of them. (_Seventeen hundred and twenty-six dead._) They give him her pin and he wears it. Calm and cold. He remains dazed throughout the process and Haymitch guides him with a gentle hand on his shoulder. She ate berries and saved herself the pain and all he can think is how selfish that is.

26.

a.

Coin the woman's name is. He turns them down initially. Because revolutions love martyrs and she was more then the Mockingjay. Then the tape (_which he didn't even know existed_) appears, shielded by two sympathetic cameramen. Haymitch brings it to him first and he watches eleven solid hours of her. He weeps then and Prim who does not look like Katniss (_he is thankful for that because Katniss died for her and him and little Posey. She said as much stooping to kiss his unconscious forehead. Keep her safe is her final instruction and how could he do anything but obey?_), tells him to stop being selfish. "We can free them a fitting monument to my sister's name."

b.

Seventeen hundred and twenty-six dead in the arena and they want to make it seventeen hundred and forty-nine. District 13 does not understand the cost the other districts have been paying for seventy-four years. If they did, they would not ask this of them. But he is not Katniss and the world can burn as she did. When President Snow's granddaughter emerges victorious he laughs. It wasn't supposed to be like this.

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><p>It looked prettier on livejournal.<p>

There is a very real possibility I'm slightly messed up. No other way to explain this. Comments are useful, flames are not. I'm headed to bed and hopefully tomorrow will not be so frantic.


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